If we have a sense of how to go about things in our own life already, then we will also develop a natural sense of how to extend out to others as well. That ability to reach out is based first on how one actually views oneself as Joe Schmidt or Karen Doe. Is this a good Joe Schmidt? Is this a wretched Karen Doe? Or is this David Doe questionable?
It is possible, and it has been done in the past, to take an attitude toward oneself which is quite positive and ordinary, in some sense, but which is also extraordinary and which sees our life as worthy of celebrating. We can cheer up our attitude towards ourselves. Joe Schmidt could feel a genuine sense of Joe Schmidt-ness in himself. There is an actual connection that we could make with ourselves.
From “Indestructible Nature” in Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery, page 30.