Wishing others to be happy doesn’t mean we give them everything they want, because sometimes what they want can be harmful. Wishing them to be happy entails wanting them to be free from pain and loneliness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were free from these and all other miseries? In order to love others, we have to be able to overcome our anger and hatred toward them. We have to be able to forgive them for the wrongs they’ve done. To do that, we have to get “me” out of the way and see that when people create harm, it is a reflection of their own pain, confusion, and misery. We just happened to walk across their path. We may even have done something to antagonize them, either deliberately or accidentally, but the reason that they got so upset is because of what is going on inside of them. We might also look at how we made ourselves into a target or accidentally became a target onto which they projected their confusion. Maybe we weren’t very considerate of them. Maybe we have certain bad habits of which we’re not aware and to which they’re reacting.
From How to Free Your Mind: The Practice of Tara the Liberator by Thubten Chodron, pages 34-35.