There was once a teacher who went to see a student who was dying of cancer. She said her heart was screaming, and she couldn’t stand it. The teacher said, “Let go of it.” He repeatedly told her to just let go. But she said, “I can’t let go of it!” And so, immediately, the teacher said, “Then let it come in.” He understood: it is the same thing. Shortly thereafter, the student died peacefully.
From You Have to Say Something: Manifesting Zen Insight by Dainin Katagiri, page 30.