Why do you stick with your practice? Why don’t you go do something else and forget the whole thing? There are many levels of motivation. You may want to learn more about yourself and about meditation. Your motivation may be long range, to have your entire life coincide with practice. But the ultimate motivation is to develop your meditation in order to learn how to work with other people.
From “Following the Example of the Buddha” in The Profound Treasury of the Ocean of Dharma, Volume One, by Chögyam Trungpa, pages 181-182