When we talk about elegance, we are not talking in terms of arrogance. When we talk about fearlessness, we are not talking about heavy-handedness. Genuineness is different from trying to convince ourselves that something is there when it doesn’t exist. Gentleness doesn’t mean being polite and putting on the false mask of a bodhisattva [a person dedicated to helping others].
From “Discovering Windhorse” in Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery by Chögyam Trungpa, page 101