One way to prevent mental suffering is to observe ourselves and figure out what triggers our problem. If we can identify what makes our blood pressure rise and causes us to feel upset, then we have taken a big step toward seeing the larger picture. With this wider perspective, there is less chance that we will jump back into an old habitual pattern that only makes us feel bad.
It is not that we have to stop going to all family holidays, but that we figure out ways to enjoy the parts that are enjoyable, like the delicious food and the chance to connect with people, and to feel more neutral and detached about the annoying or hurtful moments. We often place too many expectations and requirements on ourselves and those around us. We could give the situation a little space and see what develops. The kindest thing we can do in these situations is to remain calm and refrain from causing more difficulty.
From Your Mind Is Your Teacher: Self-Awakening through Contemplative Meditation by Khenpo Gawang, page 112