When we grasp a self, how can we possibly practice self-reflection? Everything becomes personal: our pain, our anger, our shortcomings. When we take thoughts and emotions personally, they torture us. Looking at our thoughts and emotions in this way is like rubbing our nose in something unpleasant—what purpose does it serve other than to create more pain? This is not the kind of looking we are speaking of here.
With the view of selflessness, we can enjoy whatever arises in our awareness. We can accept that everything that arises is a result of our past actions, or karma, but it is not who we are.
From It’s Up to You by Dzigar Kongtrul, page 8